Trotting down to Aldi

Day 5: write a poem about a mythical person or creature doing something unusual – or at least something that seems unusual in relation to that person/creature. For example, what does Hercules do when he loses a sock in the dryer? If a mermaid wants to pick up rock-climbing as a hobby, how does she do that? What happens when a mountain troll makes pancakes?

I've chosen to write about Pan, the god of fields, groves, and wooded glens, and is associated to sexuality, fertility and the season of spring.  He has the hindquarters, legs, and horns of a goat.   His parents are Penelope, a beautiful dryad or wood nymph,  and Hermes, who needs no introduction.  


I should be frolicking in the groves
With that sweet little nymph who caught my eye.
She seemed keen to learn how to play my flute
So I arranged to meet her there at dusk -
The evening light shows off my horns and hooves so well -
I'd hoped our lesson would soon move on to more interesting manoeuvres.

But no, my old mum is making pancakes, 
Trying to impress Hermes, 
And has run out of eggs.

So instead of an evening of music and mayhem
Here I am in the baking aisle of Aldi,
Wondering if my old Ma wants white or brown, 
Free range or organic, a box of six, ten, or a dozen - 
I didn't stop to ask,  I was in such a sulk.

It's all pointless anyway,  he's moved on.  
I've come to terms with it.  
Us gods don't settle down.  
She should have known he wasn't a stayer, 
The first time she saw wings fluttering at his ankles. 

"Can I help you with anything, sir?"
Maybe this evening won't be wasted after all. 

© Copyright 2022. Chris Auger. All Rights Reserved.

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